an education at mommy U

over the last four and a half months, there have been so many things i have learned as a new mom. many things that i thought would be normal, and many that i never would have thought of.
and LOTS of things i thought i would never do.
i would like to share with you a few of those things i have learned at the beginning of my mommy education:

1. a mommy is more than willing to pick another human being’s nose. anywhere. anytime.

2. a mommy knows not to pay attention whatsoever to the age/size on kids’ clothing. you KNOW it’s never accurate. (just hold it up, look like it fits? yup.) my child is currently wearing newborn, 0-3 mos, 3-6 mos and one 6-9 mos outfit…

3. a mommy could care less if your baby, or any baby, spits up all over you.  just dab, and move on. (and thennnn 3 hours later you start to smell sour milk randomly… where IS that smell coming from? oh. it’s me.)

4. a mommy (well MOST mommies) would NEVER ever assume a child’s gender. (by the way this happens to us all the time. and the stranger always asks me “awww, how old is he?” even our pediatrician’s office is noTORious for doing this to poor, little harps. c’mon people. JUST ASK.)

5. a mommy bursts – nay, explodes – with pride when your baby first makes eye contact with his or her HAND. it’s incredible how the discovery of a LIMB can be so frickin’ exciting and mama-pride-provoking.

6. for a mommy, the title of switchfoot’s album the beautiful letdown invokes different feelings than the band probably intended.

7. a new mommy is always wishing for an extra set of hands… daily. um maybe more like HOURLY.

8. a new mommy finally understands why all those lazy, underprepared people send out their kid’s birth announcements THREE or FOUR MONTHS after they are born. (yeah, i am now one of them. i get it.)

9. a new mommy has learned to look overhead before grabbing her baby and playfully thrusting them into the air. (i may or may not have had an incident with a hanging light and poor harper’s head.)

10. a new mommy has adopted words like this into her daily repertoire: mouth is now “mowf”, bless you (after a baby’s or sometimes a husband’s sneeze) is now “bess you” and you start calling everyone, including the wide receiver for the texas longhorns, “punkin”.

do you have any silly/important/bizarre lessons you learned (or are still learning) as a parent?