things i thought would not happen to me. eva.

who. knew. that such weird things happen to you while you are with child?!? 
there are so many lovely oddities that have become commonplace with me/myself/i over the last, well really 4 months that i feel compelled to share for those who are clueless… and those who are thinking, “ahhh, yes…”
actually i really just want to whine for a minute.  humor me, folks.

here are the things i thought wouldn’t happen to me during my life:
1. that i would ever be the SAME WEIGHT as my husband – seriously, i’m about 5 lbs away, people.  (now THAT makes a girl feel like a lady.)
2. that i would have  incredibly huge CANKLES most days of the week (see exhibit A below and yes, you can laugh AT me and call me Fat Kid.)

3. that i would have heartburn worse than a 375 pound old man (and rely on my 2x daily pepcid complete like a crack baby).
4. that i would have to sleep with 5 (FIVE!) pillows just to get comfortable & sleep through the night (since i discovered this i have been gloriously sleeping like a baby, like i will never sleep again in my life after 4 weeks time…)
5. that i literally cannot cross my legs or sit with my legs underneath me (because they are so FULL of puffiness) or that i would miss “curling up” so badly (!)
6. that i would actually be excited about labor (well, i am kind of excited to meet her too) – i mean really LL, it’s time now!
and finally…
7. that i would be married to a man like my boo: he thinks i am beautiful when my face has swollen up so unattractively and rubs my FAT calves and feet when i whine about how badly they hurt.  he just laughs at (and with) me when i have pregnancy moments and forget stupid things (or don’t realize our power has come back on when it’s been off during a storm for a good thirty minutes, because i was so focused on the wick on the candle and how much smoke it was giving off).  he makes me put my feet up.  he makes me eat when i don’t want to, even if it’s only taco bell that sounds good.  he takes hurley out when it’s raining so that i don’t have to.  he tells me how much of a champ i have been through this whole thing, even though i feel like i have been a whiny, demanding, lazy chick for 9 months.  he just looks at me sometimes and says “you are so cute.  you are so cute pregnant.”
i cannot believe how lucky i got and how blessed i am to have him as my life partner.  my spouse.  my lover.  my bestest friend.
LUV U 4 eva BOO!

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8 Responses to things i thought would not happen to me. eva.

  1. TK says:

    thats amazing. I can her the camp chants now… “5 more pounds! 5 more pounds!”
    you both are love, you both are beautiful.

  2. missy says:

    oh my gosh. you’re so freakin’ hilarious. i don’t know what to do with you. thank you for putting into such creative words EVERYTHING i am feeling on a daily basis:) you’re awesome!!! we love you Lala!!!!keep the blogs comin’!

  3. marsha says:

    Well let me first say that the color of your toenail polish really makes your kankles look alot slimmer…..

    and second……love, love, love the color of She-ra’s room. I have used harbor gray (the color above yours) about 1,ooo times…great taste

  4. Pat Chapman says:

    Started out laughing….ending up crying. Oh how I love both of you and love the FACT of both of you.

  5. dad says:

    Yeah, well I never thought I’d have a fat kid daughter with cankles; she was supposed to be the first chick at the Big Show!

  6. Sam says:

    Good night, that blog was hilarious. You are my hero…and I am never having children.

  7. Katie says:

    loved this. so sweet and hilarious at the same time! LOVE you, and can’t WAIT to meet LL!!! 🙂

  8. Pingback: every girl should have a stunt double « team us

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