who. knew. that such weird things happen to you while you are with child?!?
there are so many lovely oddities that have become commonplace with me/myself/i over the last, well really 4 months that i feel compelled to share for those who are clueless… and those who are thinking, “ahhh, yes…”
actually i really just want to whine for a minute. humor me, folks.
here are the things i thought wouldn’t happen to me during my life:
1. that i would ever be the SAME WEIGHT as my husband – seriously, i’m about 5 lbs away, people. (now THAT makes a girl feel like a lady.)
2. that i would have incredibly huge CANKLES most days of the week (see exhibit A below and yes, you can laugh AT me and call me Fat Kid.)
3. that i would have heartburn worse than a 375 pound old man (and rely on my 2x daily pepcid complete like a crack baby).
4. that i would have to sleep with 5 (FIVE!) pillows just to get comfortable & sleep through the night (since i discovered this i have been gloriously sleeping like a baby, like i will never sleep again in my life after 4 weeks time…)
5. that i literally cannot cross my legs or sit with my legs underneath me (because they are so FULL of puffiness) or that i would miss “curling up” so badly (!)
6. that i would actually be excited about labor (well, i am kind of excited to meet her too) – i mean really LL, it’s time now!
7. that i would be married to a man like my boo: he thinks i am beautiful when my face has swollen up so unattractively and rubs my FAT calves and feet when i whine about how badly they hurt. he just laughs at (and with) me when i have pregnancy moments and forget stupid things (or don’t realize our power has come back on when it’s been off during a storm for a good thirty minutes, because i was so focused on the wick on the candle and how much smoke it was giving off). he makes me put my feet up. he makes me eat when i don’t want to, even if it’s only taco bell that sounds good. he takes hurley out when it’s raining so that i don’t have to. he tells me how much of a champ i have been through this whole thing, even though i feel like i have been a whiny, demanding, lazy chick for 9 months. he just looks at me sometimes and says “you are so cute. you are so cute pregnant.”
WHO SAYS THAT?
i cannot believe how lucky i got and how blessed i am to have him as my life partner. my spouse. my lover. my bestest friend.
LUV U 4 eva BOO!